sábado, 15 de abril de 2017

Do not destroy The Earth: it has wine

1ST WEEK Report for the Vesonian Army

Origin: Planet Earth.

Coordinates: 41.3851° N, 2.1734° E

Dear compatriots,

I’m in.

I landed safe and sound in the planet Earth. I could get among these strange specimens. The habitants look like us, but without horns.

I cover my horns with a long black hat that make me looks like one of them. Some humans had called me “artist”. An old female human told me: We have so many artists like you in Barcelona.

After a long study, before landing in The Earth, I choose Barcelona because I could find specimens from every part of the world. And it looks like I was correct.

I’ve being making experiments with them. When they no see me, I take out a hair from a head of a female specimen that was eating in a table in the outdoors, as many are they are in this location.

A lot of them I measure on their backs when we travel in a smart underground transport that they call “Metro”.

I have taste their biological depositions from one of the so many people in small spaces with loud noises, that they look very entertained.

But for me, it wasn’t entertained at all. I barely like anything here in the seven days I’ve being here.

The humans are noisy, big crowds are always following someone with no reason, only this specimen have a flag and a lot of them are behind like beasts.

These humans like to take care of each other, in fact, they reproduce themselves for fun! As animals!

Is not like us, we just reproduce ourselves and then we grew up from eggs. We leave the nest and explore our own purpose in life.

Anyways, next week I will send another report, if it is something to keep the planet alive or we should destroy it once for all.


Inspector ABRRRRR


2nd WEEK Report for the Versonian, sorry, VASONIAN, no, once again I WRITE slowly… V E S O N I A N Army (Yeah! Now it’s right!)

Origin: Planet Party, oh wait! Planet Earth.

Coordinates: 41.38582838389828282821° N (maybe), no idea° E

Dear friends,


These humans know how to haaaaaave fun.

I mean, our telepathic meetings are interesting, but the parties here… MAAAAN! I mean, Versoooonian! The parties are amazing with something they call WINE.

But the name is very ridiculous, they should call it: THE VERY BEST THING IN THE GALAXY.

I was there, trying to catch a test from the skin of a human with a glass of this beautiful and red liquid. And by accident, the wine spilled over me. I taste it. And it was the best thing happening to me in this mission.

The wine makes me speak more. I meet new humans. They invite me to great places with high noises and everything was amazing… with the wine.

That brings me to the point of this report: DO NOT DESTROY THE EARTH. It has wine.